Some joys need no words.......

The power of coincidence

 A little over 3 years ago a young teen girl that I knew disappeared from school one Friday evening in early November.  Volunteer search teams were organized and about a week after her disappearance, I joined the search teams.   In total, I went out on 21 days, including Thanksgiving, a cold blustery day, when we had a total of 6 people going out.  I went out that day with the father of another girl who had disappeared years before and been found murdered about 2 weeks after her disappearance.

During that same period of time the following excerpt was published in the UUWorld....and the coincidental nature of the two events hit me in a way that I can't describe.   In early March of the next year, her jawbone was found, miles and miles away from where we had been searching, but in a place that perhaps helped the jury to decide the guilt of the person accused of her disappearance and murder.

She was found the Friday before his preliminary hearing the next week.  A hearing at which many of us felt there would not be sufficient evidence to charge him with murder, as she had not been found, so who was to say that she was actually dead, let alone murdered.

In another odd twist of fate, I went to church yesterday, primarily to take pictures of our young adults vocal ensemble, for our adult music program bulletin board.  I knew that we had a guest minister, who had been speaking at various activities all weekend, and I had read her bio, but somehow the significance had not registered.

When she was introduced yesterday and began to speak, I realized that she was the same minister who had written the excerpt that I had read in 2007.   I was profoundly moved by her sermon, as were many of the singers, and members of both the congregations who heard her at the 10 and 11:30 services.

At the end of the first service, for the benediction, she recited The 23rd Psalm, with the word 'Lord' replaced by the word "love".   I had been recording the service but did not have my recorder on at that point, I was thinking that I might ask her for a copy later.   As it happened, I was there also at the end of the second service, another 'coincidence' having forgotten my rather pricey music recorder in the loft, and only realizing as much after I made it home.

But for the second service, there was a different benediction.   But my prayer had not been forgotten, for as I reread her words from 2007 today, there it was.....  "Love is my shepherd, I shall not want, Love makes me lie down in green pastures, Love leads me beside the still waters....."

I was able to speak with her after the service, to buy a copy of her latest book, and to ask about the article in the UU World.  At that point, I was unsure if she had written it, or if I had misrememberd the article, or if even there was such an article.  In my mind, the person who wrote the article was a grey haired woman of 60 something, which did not fit with my experience of Kate Braestrup yesterday; a vibrant chestnut haired sprite.

So today, I went online to the UU World, to back issues, and trusting my memory pulled up the winter 2007 issues, and there it was, the excerpt from Kate's current book at the time.....which follows.... note the date....11/1/07......Cori disappeared 11/9/07.

One thing I am sure of

'God is not less kind, less committed, or less merciful than a Maine game warden.'

By Kate Braestrup 

Winter 2007 11.1.07

http://www.uuworld.org/spirit/articles/50622.shtm

The river, she wins......

So after fighting a strong sense of making a wrong choice by moving away from the river, as well as leaving the wildlife that shares this area with us, my 'little room with a view', the friends I've made here, and the endless variety of opportunities to either walk, or run, for as many miles as my legs will take me......

and after spending a sleepless night with my shoulders and neck tied in knots, (painful ones at that), and after thinking about the new house, and the other places I've looked at, and how none of them have the opportunities for Halle to view her world, and watch birds, squirrels, cats, dogs, portulaca possum, and various other friends and creatures.......

and after thinking how can I continue my blog which is titled 'Bon Temps on the River.blogspot.com', if I'm not actually ON the river......

I realized that one more time in my life, I was trying to force myself to do something that may have made sense at some cognitive level, but that made no sense to my heart, and soul........to say nothing of something that made no sense to Halle...she says 7 moves are quite enough for her taste, thankyouverymuch.....

So I'm staying...for once I managed to make the decision before I'd done something that would have been harder to undo (like signing a contract).......

And we supposedly have weather moving in, with freezing rain and snow predicted....Here I have my gas stove, so that if the worst happens, I can still  have hot food, and hot water, and coffee, and some warmth.....and we have Frankie who will salt our sidewalks to keep us safe, and each other for company......

Life is good, it is OK to just stay as I am, in fact it is more than OK it is fabulous......to be good with where I am......but it is a lesson that somehow I must keep learning.....

Now may be the time......

I have spent much of my life living within a mile of my river, if not on its banks.....soon after moving into an apartment literally on the banks of the river 4 years ago, there was suddenly talk of how much better the river would be if commercialized.

The talk centered around taking 100 acres of the west bank of the river right at the exact point where I lived.   Nothing was said publicly about taking out the apartments, but there was no way I could see to get the 100 acres without tearing down my home and the home of many others.

The river has a path along both banks which gets lots of foot and bicycle traffic, yet, the west bank is 'the road less traveled' and so has many sights that the east bank doesn't.  The trail along the east bank is also bordered by a 4 lane road.  The speed limit is 40 mph, but many seem to feel that doesn't apply to them, and routinely whiz by going 50, 60, and up from there.

Thus the westbank is quieter, has more opportunities to view wildlife, and to slow down.   So when the talk came of 'commercializing' it with restaurants, bars, etc, my heart sank.   I protested loud and long to anyone I could find, wrote letters explaining how there seem to be so few areas left where people can be close to nature, without car traffic.

One such experience came when I was walking the path, and a grandfather, and grandson passed me on bicycles.   The first I knew of them was as I was walking down a steep incline with a right angle turn at the bottom (if you go straight, you get to go swimming in the river).   One morning I heard someone say, "Do you know how to use your brakes", and thought uhoh, and turned to see the grandfather, and grandson who might have been 6 or 7.   The grandson replied 'yes' and smoothly passed me, and safely made the turn.

I caught up with them again later, as they had stopped.  The young man was picking up goose tail feathers and giving them to his granddad to keep.  One was pretty much like another, but the grandfather was carefully taking each one and putting them in his backpack.

Again they climbed on their bikes and road off.   Further down the path was a little inlet adjoining a floating amphitheater.   They had stopped there again, as the boy had seen many turtles sunning.  There were also several little blue herons wading in the water, and people had stopped to take pictures of them.

The boy was wanting his grandfather to take pictures of the turtles as well.

Living there, and watching people's joy as they had these brushes with nature, to me is priceless.  The path is open to anyone, and all its delights are free.  There are many of us who can't take fancy (or even not fancy) vacations to wilderness spots, or national parks, but we can enjoy these sights free, and without extensive travel.
I had recently seen this article which to me seemed to express the feelings and thoughts that I have about my river........http://blog.nature.org/2010/10/why-we-love-rivers-our-threads-of-wildness-and-mystery/

To commercialize this area seemed sure to change the whole 'vibe'.   I decided rather than sit there and wait for it to happen, I would simply move to the other bank.   There it is more congested, with fewer opportunities to witness nature, and with more traffic, traffic noise, and exhaust, but it is still rather unspoiled compared to some places.  I felt it would be safe from further development because there are old historic housing districts nearby, and I was sure the residents of those places would not want commercial development en masse next to their homes.

So evidently I was wrong, and now the plan is to develop both sides of the river, with the current plan to take the apartments where I live (which were quietly sold for such a purpose 3 years ago).

So I've decided rather than stay and worry about when and how and where I'd go, and what will happen to all the creatures, great and small who live and travel through here, I would just move further from the river.

A type of 'out of sight, out of mind' defense.  I also decided to try to once again buy a little house, where I can have my own small nature preserve, albeit without a river running through it.

Animal planning......

So many years ago when I was in graduate school, and after spending what was then a lifetime with animals....I learned that animals don't have feelings, and many were theorizing don't do advanced problem solving......

Just another example of why I'm a not a huge proponent of the results of research in psychological, educational, kids and animals areas.......

Of course the research community has turned round quite a bit in terms of animals, at least, since then......and my  additional 40 years with creatures has just supported my original thoughts......

Still the things they do are amazing, and also quite funny (if not irritating) at times....

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There's this guy who comes frequently and stares in the sliding glass door until I put some apple slices out for him.....although there are sunflower seeds easily within his reach, fresh fruit takes precedence at this point...

 ...and then there's Ms. Halle B Berry Black Cat......

Halle is, as you may have read in a previous post, the only cat that I've had since kittenhood since I was probably 20.  The others were adopted as adults from shelters....Halle came from the mean streets of the city as a kitten, albeit a black one, right before Halloween (not a healthy time to be a wandering black kitten).

Halle has, to say the least, not been a very interactive, or affectionate cat.   This may support the belief that shelter animals are so happy for another chance.....at this point I can't even say second chance, as Ms. Toby Cat was adopted from a rescue after having been  abandoned by her previous owner 3 times at the vet's office, so it was maybe her 4th chance?

Halle's primary interests in life are food, food, food, and watching creatures great and small out the sliding glass door.  She does become quite interactive when she thinks it's time for a meal.   She also has a strong sense of routine, every night she gets her hairball medicine, one of her favorite treats, and luckily will sit patiently while I get ready for bed, awaiting her turn.

Thank goodness, as I've mentioned, she has switched her morning routine from feet biting, to lying next to me purring until I wake up sufficiently to get up and feed her.

She also, as I've mentioned, used to be quite huge, and as a 'perk' of her new size, she loves to get on top of the kitchen cabinets.....for the most part she goes from the counter, to the top of the fridge, to the top of the cabinets, and back down.   Not sure why, other than to prove that she can.....

But lately she's managed to get on top of the cabinets over the range.   I am not at all sure how......except that it often involves many missed tries, and lots of banging and noise.......

The thing is that once she gets up there, the only way down (at least independently) is to jump to the floor, and out over some things nearby on the floor.....so she's been stuck up there, until I get her down.....

For the first several times, after I would move a chair over to the cabinet, and climb up on it, she would back away from me, and stay just out of reach.  I could call her, and she might come to the edge, but would back away again.....until I managed to grasp a leg, and drag her to the edge, and then down......

But now, it would seem that she knows exactly what she's doing, and that there is a purpose in what she does......because now she walks to the edge looks over and cries.....when I get the chair and climb up, she now will reach out for my shoulder, climb on my shoulder til secured, and lowered to the level she can easily hop down......

Today as I was standing watching her trying to see what she'd do if I just ignored her, she put her feet over the edge and stared at me as if to say...I've done my part, now get up here and get me down.....

It is as if she needs to be reassured that indeed I do cherish her, not only enough to feed her, but to rescue her from high places......

I'm thinking there are probably many of us who would like to be reminded that they are cherished, beyond the point of being fed, but to the point of being rescued from danger.....even if it's only imaginary........

Thoughts from the past week....

Several things have caught my attention this past week related to the shootings in Arizona, and the topics of violence whether directed at oneself or at another.

One of the first interviews that I heard from Arizona included a comment about a woman who had taken the ammunition clip from the shooter.   I was in a way not surprised that it was a woman who intervened, but did have a specific mental  picture of her as I heard the story.

Last night during President Obama's remarks in Tucson, he mentioned 'petite Patricia' who got the clip away from the gunman, and so my mental picture changed a bit.  Later watching a different news service coverage of the event, I saw a woman (albeit from the back) surrounded by people and waving just after the remark by the President.  The woman I saw appeared to be wearing black clothing, and had short GREY (no not platinum blond) GREY hair.   I thought there is way more to this story than I first believed, and so today have tried to find a picture to confirm my new 'picture' of Petite Patricia Maisch, and her actions.  Here is an interview with her posted on You Tube.

.http://youtu.be/TWmHtuGQgms

I am reminded again of some of the experiences that I've written about here, (The kindness of strangers, Anniversaries) that we never know who our angels or heroes will be, and any of us, as President Obama said, can become one.

I had also written about what to do if one is concerned with the safety of an individual, or oneself, and the need to pass that concern or information along to someone in a position to help.  One way to do so is to contact "Hotlines"   Phone numbers set up for assistance with crisis or possible crisis intervention.

Today there was an article in the local paper today which included the number for one such hotline,  the National Suicide Prevention Hotline,   (800) 273-8255.
                                                            
There is also an Oklahoma State Hotline to prevent violence in schools, 1-877-SAFECALL, 1-877-723-3225 ext. 651 or http://www.oksafecall.com.   I have experience with this hotline, it does work.   When I worked in the schools, we had the number posted visibly many places, and staff frequently reminded students, staff, parents, that if they were concerned about a safety issue, one option was to call the hotline.

Another such number is the Child Abuse Prevention Hotline in Oklahoma 1-800-522-3511.  I also have experience with this one.  In a workshop a former DHS worker mentioned that the calls going to the hotline (at that time, and hopefully still so) were routed directly to a supervisor.


I propose a National Violence Prevention Hotline, and if there is one, much more publicity for it!

We can and must (in my humble opinion) do more to be in safe, caring, respectful community with each other, and to protect each other.

And on a happier note........

Petfinder Adoptable Cat | Domestic Short Hair | Tulsa, OK | JASSY

http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/18183851